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November 15 Angel...From www.pennyparker2.com
Barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched people go by. She never tried to speak, she never said a word. Many people passed, but not one person glanced her way. No one stopped, including myself.
~ Author Unknown ~
Where is my angel???Feel like i need support... October 31 Halloween is coming...."Where Danger Looms" by RL IrvingFrom the "Halloween Tales" Website When the darkness falls and danger looms, You run through the streets, screaming in fright, The paperboys scream "Man found dead" October 21 THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN & WOMEN
Let`s say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts and they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her our to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they`re driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it alound; "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we`ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself "Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he`s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I`m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn`t want, or isn`t sure of." And Roger is thinking; "Gosh, six months." And Elaine is thinking; "But, hey, I`m not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I`d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward......I mean, where ARE we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I really ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Roger is thinking: "....so that means it was...let`s see....February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealers, which means.....lemme check the odometer.....Whoa!!! I am WAY overdue for an oil change here." And Elaine is thinking: "He`s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I`m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed...even before I sensed it...that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that`s it. That`s why he`s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He`s afraid of being rejected! And Roger is thinking: "..and I`m gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don`t care what those morons say, it`s still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It`s 87 degrees out and this thing is shifting like a darn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600." And Elaine is thinking; "He`s angry. And I don`t blame him. I`d be angry too. I feel so guilty putting him through this but I can`t help the way I feel. I`m just not sure." And Roger is thinking; "They`ll probably say it`s only a 90 day warranty. That`s exactly what they`re gonna say, the scumballs." And Elaine is thinking; "Mabye I`m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I`m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy." And Roger is thinking; "Warranty? They want a warranty? I`ll give them a darn warranty. I`ll take their warranty and stick it right...." "Roger", Elaine says aloud. "What?" says Roger, startled. "Please don`t torture yourself like this," she say, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should have never....Oh my, I feel so......." (She breaks down sobbing.) "Whaaaat?" says Roger. "I`m such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there`s no knight. I really know that. It`s silly. There`s no knight and there`s no horse." "There`s no horse?" says Roger. "You think I`m a fool, don`t you?" Elaine says. "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer to something. "It`s just that....It`s that I...I need some time." Elaine says. (There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes us with one that he thinks might work.) "Yes," he says. (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says. "What way?" says Roger. "That way about time," says Elaine. "Oh." says Roger. "Yes." (Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.) "Thank you, Roger," she says. "Thank you," says Roger. Then he takes her home, where she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn. Whereas, when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what it was, and so he figures it`s better if he doesn`t think about it. (This is also Roger`s policy regarding world hunger.) The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions but never getting bored with it, either. Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine`s, will pause just before serving, frown and say: "Norm, did Elanie ever own a horse?" October 14 Just thoughts...How often do we look at people around us, sitting in the train in metro or going to University or coming back from work???We're always in hurry...business meetings, responsibilities, obligations, family, children, friends, lovers...yes, all the stuff normal life should consist of...but...do you remember how long it was when you've been just walking along the river, listening to birds and enjoying sunrays from pure blue sky??? Hard to remember, right? Much easier to say how many meetings you had at work. The point is that we forgot how it is just to enjoy these simple things life gives us. We're ambitious smart people, we're making our career, we're growing,so we just dont have time for all these trifles. Is it excuse???Not really. Because this "race" doesn't make us happy, all the time we're unsatisfied with our job,salary, collegues, wives, husbands, neighbours, weather...whatever. You know, I'm here in Prague for 3 months already, it's one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen in my life,although I saw quit a lot, but now i wanna talk not about its gorgeous architecture or "golden" roofs at dusk time. You know there are two things I've been mostly astonished and touched here. Walking here at Charles bridge or other tourist places, just look around. There are so many people who..how to say.. look differently,not like us...blind people, disabled, ill people. Blind woman is singing "Carmen" right at Charles Bridge, singing so beautiful, that you can't help staying for some time and just listening. And although she can't see the beauty of the place around, a crowd of people around her, she feels the admiration of those who are around, she hears not only the sound of falling coins, but whispering of amazement. Her face is calm and peaceful,no sufferings or complainings. It's her fate and she is trying to enjoy that life she was given. Who knows ,maybe she dreamt to become a famous opera singer...at least here, at the bridge she gets her "sea" of applause. And she is smiling..... ....You know almost each day after classes at University in Ukraine I got used to go AIESEC office through small park in city center...and i got used to meet there a very beautiful couple: very handsome guy and a girl with angel face. They seem to be so in love and so happy together, Universe is smaller than thier love, just looking at them you can get small piece of that enormous happiness.It seems that they are flying on the wings of their feelings,not just walking in the street...actually, guy is the only who's walking...girl is stuck to wheelchair. Do you think it makes them less in love or less happier????Each day they are in this park with shining faces, they cant take their eyes of each other,they are laughing about small funny bird fighting with fall leaf and enjoying each sunray this grey cloudy day. They are simply happy! "About ten years ago when I was an undergraduate in college, I was working as an intern at my University's Museum of Natural History. One day while working at the cash register in the gift shop, I saw an elderly couple come in with a little girl in a wheelchair. As I looked closer at this girl, I saw that she was kind of perched on her chair. I then realized she had no arms or legs, just a head, neck and torso. She was wearing a little white dress with red polka dots. As the couple wheeled her up to me I was looking down at the register. I turned my head toward the girl and gave her a wink. As I took the money from her grandparents, I looked back at the girl, who was giving me the cutest, largest smile I have ever seen. All of a sudden her handicap was gone and all I saw was this beautiful girl, whose smile just melted me and almost instantly gave me a completely new sense of what life is all about. She took me from a poor, unhappy college student and brought me into her world; a world of smiles, love and warmth." (from somewhere) The only question i ask myself looking at all these people is :Why I'm complaining? Why I'm all the time unsatisfied? I have two hands, two legs, healthy eyes and mind, i have wonderful family and good friends, people who love me and whom i love....So why? Why did I and most probably you lose this gift JUST TO BE HAPPY????? There is something to think about.... October 12 Something to start with...from one of my favourite books"If I were to tell someone about my life today, I could do it in a way that would make them think me a brave, happy, independent woman. Rubbish: I am not even allowed to mention the only word that is more important than the eleven minutes – love. All my life, I thought of love as some kind of voluntary enslavement. Well, that's a lie: freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly. And the person who loves wholeheartedly feels free. That is why, regardless of what I might experience, do or learn, nothing makes sense. I hope this time passes quickly, so that I can resume my search for myself – in the form of a man who understands me and does not make me suffer. But what am I saying? In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each of us responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel. It hurt when I lost each of the various men I fell in love with. Now, though, I am convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it." ("Eleven minutes" by Paolo Coelho) |
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